I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
