Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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