Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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