Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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