JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
