For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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