My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
