Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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