Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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