Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
farters have to be the big spoon...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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