So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
