I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
