my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
