Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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