i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
