Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
