Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Randomize