There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
