You work out of a Hotel?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
