OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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