I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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