So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize