Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
