is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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