Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

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(954): View more from Florida

She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.

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(845): View more from New York

3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got

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