thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize