This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
