i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Found the puke drawer
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
