Best friends brother. Beat that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize