No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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