wakey wakey hands off snakey
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
