I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
