I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
