I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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