Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
