Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
