8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
