Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who died my cat blue again?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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