Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
