i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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