Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
