so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
