look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize