return my video game
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
