So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
