I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
