You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
