The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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