Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
