If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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