Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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