im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
