Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
