My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
