you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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