He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
