Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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