i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
