Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize