So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize