What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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