Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize