shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
FUCK WHALES
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
