just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
