Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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