I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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