Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
