In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
