i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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