chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
