So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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