sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
