absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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