I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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