Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
