I just threw up on my dentist
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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