you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
